Guest Blog: Alyson Perry

Posted by Alyson Perry

Help Us All Out: Help Your Child Become an Advocate for the Rights of Disabled People

As I travel the streets of Boston with my friend and guide dog, Saddle. I overhear many conversations. They all intrigue me: I’m nosey.

But listening to children ask their adults questions about me and Saddle (a whole page of Saddle pictures is here) really fascinates me: I’m vain!

I have heard children ask all kinds of question and make all kinds of statements:

"What’s that dog doing in here? No dogs allowed!"
"Is that dog going to bite me?"
"Is that person blind?"
"Oh a puppy! Can I pet it?"

And adults respond in a number of ways. Some pull their child quickly past, some whisper, embarrassed, "That lady cannot see." Many end up giving false information: "That dog is in training." (Well, no, Saddle has managed this arduous job with surprising grace for eight years and counting.)

Some adults are so afraid of me as a disabled person that they nervously act as if they did not hear the question, or say, "I’ll explain later." I really hate it when adults use Saddle as a threat: "Behave, or that dog will bite you!" (This really has happened several times!) Of course, many adults give their inquisitive children wonderful and respectful answers to their questions, which is always nice to hear.

This afternoon I have a very specific reason for writing. That is, the ways in which you respond to your child’s questions about disabled people on the streets of Boston will, I promise you, affect them -- and you and me -- for the rest of our lives.

First, reflect on your child. If you don’t know this already, let me be the one to tell you: if your child is not already disabled, she will become disabled at some point in her life, that is, if she is fortunate to live long enough.

And whether or not your child is already disabled, his abilities will change throughout his life. If you are scared of disabled people, and teach your child (by words, silence, fear, and actions) that we are different or scary, this will negatively affect her own self image as her abilities change.

On the other hand, if you demonstrate ordinary, basic respect for disabled people in your words and actions, your child will better be able to maintain his own self respect as he grows and changes! It works, honest.

Then, there is you: you are not getting any younger. We hear stories every day of adult children who leave aging parents in nursing homes and cannot or will not bring themselves to visit. Or worse, some have actively neglected, abused, or murdered disabled adults in their care.

What responses did their parents give these people when they were children asking questions about disabled pedestrians?

And now to me: I deal with adults, who were once children asking questions about disabled people, daily! They grew to become the people who run the businesses, provide the services, maintain the buildings, construct the sidewalks, and supply the entainment that I use every day. They are the ones, who employ me, who live next door to me, and who speak to me on the T.

My access to the ordinary events of life depends upon these people’s respect for or indifference to people with disabilities!

When an elevator does not have Braille numbers, when access is not maintained during street construction projects, and when my dog is at a high risk of being shocked (resulting from the combination of poorly maintained electrical wiring, snow, and ice) on the streets, I know that these people were not taught to consider the basic Civil Rights of disabled people.

I’m not going to tell you what to tell your children about me. I’m going to ask you to stop and consider your own views about disabled people.

I hope that you believe strongly that we deserve full lives and access to every daily activity -- even if in this imperfect (read, very often inaccessible) world you feel inconvienced by our pursuing happiness!

Now, assuming that you fit this description, you wonderful person, may I leave you with one suggestion and a handful of examples that would really help us all out a great deal?
If you want your child to respect disabled people, point out situations that are respectful about the rights of disabled people AND situations that are disrespectful, even when we are not around.

Examples:

1. "Look, Mary! There is no curbcut here. What would you do if you were using a wheelchair and had to cross over there?"
2. "Johnnie, always press the button for the walk light. There may be someone next to you, who cannot press it herself."
3. "There are so many bricks missing on this sidewalk. I’ll bet people trip all the time!"
4. Those dots on that menu are Braille, Amy. Many blind people read Braille. Would you like to learn how?"

Turn your child into an activist for my Civil Rights. One day she will be advocating for yours and her own, as well.